The Joy List: 10 things I am no longer apologising for

A midlife invitation to stop shrinking and start claiming what feels good.

You reach a point — somewhere between “should I even be doing this?” and “what took me so long?” — where you stop apologising.

Not in a dramatic, burn-it-all-down way.
But in a quiet, steady, honest way.

Because if midlife has taught me anything, it’s this:

Joy doesn’t need a permission slip.
And neither do I.

So here’s my list — 10 things I’m no longer shrinking, softening, or justifying.

The Joy List:

1. Slow mornings.

I don’t need to “earn” rest.
I’ll start my day with peace, not panic.

A meditation, journalling, then coffee. At my pace.

2. Saying no without a 10-line explanation.

No is a full sentence.
Especially when it protects my energy.

It’s been a lesson, but I am getting better at saying ‘No’.

3. Wearing what makes me feel like me.

That might be wild hair, no makeup, or floaty linen 

And if you have seen my hair you know that there is little I can do to tame it!
Not trying to impress — just trying to belong to myself.

4. Creating without a business case.

Not everything needs to be monetised.
Writing, dreaming, building something — just because I want to — is enough.

Working with alignment, not pushing and proving. 

5. Not answering emails after 6pm.

The world won’t end.
But I might feel human again.

I’ve answered enough 7pm emails, I don’t need to answer any more. 

6. Being in bed by 9pm with a book.

I used to apologise for this.
Now? It’s sacred.

I feel all ‘old school’, in my PJ’s with a cuppa! 

7. I might be in my 50’s but I can still play

Here’s me – on a swing – hanging from a tree, acting like a 6 year old!  ( see pic) 

Where’s the harm? 

There’s none – just be playful 

8. Needing space before I respond.

I don’t owe anyone instant access.
My nervous system thanks me daily.

I’m now top of my priority list.

9. Choosing softness over speed.

Fast doesn’t always mean better.
Sometimes slow is the bravest pace of all.

And giving in to this is just the best feeling. 

10. Wanting more — even now.

I’m allowed to want something bigger.
Bolder. Braver.
And I’m allowed to begin.

Closing Thought:

If you’re holding back from your own joy — waiting for the perfect time, the perfect excuse, or someone to say it’s okay…

This is it.

You don’t need to apologise for wanting to feel good. For wanting to feel a different way or for wanting to change up your joy list. 

You’ve changed. And your list can change too.

What would be on your joy list?